These 30 ROFL Steven Wrights Funniest Jokes Are Crazily Funny

These 30 ROFL Steven Wright's Funniest Jokes Are Crazily Funny The Persona of Steven Wright: Deadpan, Dead Serious Comedian When he walks up the stage, the lackadaisical strut which is a Steven Wright signature makes the audience lean forward in rapt attention.  They know that something really big is about to happen. He paces up and down the platform, seemingly in no hurry, and without making eye contact with his eager listeners. The build-up to this climax can only be satisfied by a one-liner from the ace comedian as he cracks his first joke: Thanks! The sudden burst of laughter among the audience tells you that the comedian has struck a chord. And with a deadpan expression, eyes searching the room, Steven Wright lands another gem from his collection: I got food poisoning today. I dont know when Ill use it. With this funny quip, he has nailed it. The audience is now enraptured. The evening has just begun. What Makes Steven Wright Such a Hit With His Audience? One of the things you will like about Steven Wright, the famous American comedian, is that he does not make ribald jokes on race or color. Most of his humor revolves around his observations of day-to-day life. With Steven Wrights humor, you can see how ludicrous our lifestyles and beliefs are. Why Steven Wright Is Like No Other Standup Comedian Steven Wrights deadpan facial expression adds to the humor. His wacky frazzled hair balding in the center, overgrowing on the sides contribute to his humorous persona. He comes across as a laid-back performer, who happened to accidentally walk on to the stage.  It only takes a minute for the audience to connect with him. Once he is on stage, Steven Wright is a transformed man. He ensures that his audience has a bellyful of laughs, and they keep asking for more. Steven Wright does not come across as a comedian who is trying hard to please. He looks like he sleepwalked his way into the show. But given that he puts up this act every time with aplomb, it is anybodys guess how much work he puts into making every act of his act seem like a masterpiece. Steven Wright Short and Funny Jokes Are Classic Humor What makes Steven Wright stand out from his contemporaries and predecessors, is that he can create a joke with the fewest words in them. His signature Thanks! at the beginning of his show is proof that you dont need too many words to create a great joke. In fact, too many words kill the essence of the joke, when you spell it out for the audience. Another of his characteristic short one liner is: Lost a buttonhole.What are imitation rhinestones?If I ever have twins, Id use one for parts.I was skydiving horizontally.Whats another word for Thesaurus?I xeroxed my watch. Now I have time to spare.Is tired old cliche one? Steven Wright has a gift of great observation. His jokes usually talk about the absurdities of life. They often make you think, Now, thats really funny. Why didnt I think of that joke? His great ability to use  paraprosdokians with perfect comic timing makes him an instant hit with his audience. The Comedian, Actor, Director, Grammy Award and Academy Award Winner Steven Wright is a man of many colors. In 1989,  he won an Academy Award for a 30-minute short film he co-wrote with Michael Armstrong titled, The Appointments of Dennis Jennings. Prior to this,  Wright created a comedy album in 1985, which was titled, I Have a Pony. The album was widely appreciated and even nominated for the Grammy Award for Best Comedy Album. Read Some of the Funniest Steven Wright Jokes Here are some gems of humor from the famous comedian. These Steven Wright jokes are great conversation starters. I have seen many of these lines used as ice-breakers in training sessions, speeches, and Facebook status updates. Spice up your essays with a punch of humor from these jokes. Right now Im having amnesia and deja vu at the same time.One time, the police stopped me for speeding, and they said, Dont you know the speed limit is 55 miles an hour? I said, Yeah, I know, but I wasnt gonna be out that long.I broke a mirror in my house. Im supposed to get seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five.The

How to Write a Descriptive Observational Essay

How to Write a Descriptive Observational Essay Your first task in writing a descriptive essay is to choose a topic that has many interesting parts or qualities to talk about. Unless you have a really vivid imagination, youll find it difficult to write much about a simple object like a comb, for example. Its best to compare a few topics first to make sure theyll work. The next challenge is to figure out the best way to describe your chosen subject in such a way as to relay a complete experience to the reader, so that he or she is able to see, hear, and feel through your words. Organize Thoughts Before Drafting As in any writing, the drafting stage is key to writing a successful descriptive essay. Since the purpose of the essay is to paint a mental image of a specific subject, it helps to make a list of all the things you associate with your topic. For example, if your subject is the farm where you visited your grandparents as a child you would list all the things you associate with that place. Your list should include both general attributes associated with a farm and the more personal and specific things that make it special to you and the reader. Start with general details CornfieldsPigsCowsGardenFarmhouseWell Then add the unique details: That spot by the pig barn where you fell in the manure.Playing hide and seek in the cornfields.Picking wild greens for dinner with your grandmother.The stray dogs that always wandered onto the farm.Scary coyotes howling in the night. By tying these details together you can make the essay more relatable to the reader. Making these lists will allow you to see how you can tie things from each list together. Describing Descriptions   At this stage, you should determine a good order for the objects youll describe. For example, if you are describing an object, you should determine whether you want to describe its appearance from top to bottom or side to side. Remember that it is important to begin your essay on a general level and work your way down to specifics. Start by outlining a simple five-paragraph essay with three main topics. Then you may expand on this basic outline. Next, you will begin to construct a thesis statement and a trial topic sentence for each main paragraph. The thesis sentence should convey your overall impression of your subject. Does it make you happy? Is it attractive or ugly? Is your object useful?Each topic sentence should introduce a new part or stage of your chosen topic. Dont worry, you can change these sentences later. Its time to start writing paragraphs! Beginning to Draft As you build your paragraphs, you should avoid confusing the reader by bombarding them with unfamiliar information immediately; you must ease your way into your topic in your introductory paragraph. For example, instead of saying, The farm was where I spent most summers holidays. During the summer we played hide and seek in the cornfields and walked through the cow pastures to pick wild greens for supper. Nana always carried a gun for snakes. Instead, give the reader a broad view of your subject and work your way into the details. A better example would be: In a small rural town in central Ohio was a farm surrounded by miles of cornfields. In this place, on many warm summer days, my cousins and I would run through the cornfields playing hide and seek or making our own crop circles as clubhouses. My grandparents, whom I called Nana and Papa, lived on this farm for many years. The old farmhouse was large and always full of people, and it was surrounded by wild animals. I spent many of my childhood summers and holidays here. It was the family gathering place. Another simple rule of thumb to remember is show dont tell. If you want to describe a feeling or action you should reinvent it through the senses rather than just state it. For example, instead of: I got excited every time we pulled into the driveway of my grandparents house. Try to elaborate on what was really going on in your head: After sitting for several hours in the back seat of the car, I found the slow crawl up the driveway to be absolute torture. I just knew Nana was inside waiting with freshly baked pies and treats for me. Papa would have some toy or trinket hidden somewhere but he would pretend not to recognize me for a few minutes just to tease me before he gave it to me. As my parents would struggle to pry the suitcases out of the trunk, I would bounce all the way up the porch and rattle the door until someone finally let me in. The second version paints a picture and puts the reader in the scene. Anyone can be excited. What your reader needs and wants to know is, what makes it exciting? Keep It Specific Finally, dont try to cram too much into one paragraph. Use each paragraph to describe a different aspect of your subject. Check to make sure that your essay flows from one paragraph to the next with good transition statements. The conclusion of your paragraph is where you can tie everything together and restate the thesis of your essay. Take all the details and summarize what they mean to you and why it is important.